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There was a snack machine in the saferoom.  However, the only thing remaining within it was Flaming Hot Funyuns and Take 5 bars, and no one eats those. "Ugh, I am stranded in Savannah…" Rochelle bemoaned, exposing her dislike for the South. "Savannah's awesome!!" Ellis exclaimed.  He hooked his thumb at the door.  "I'll show ya the adult store on the way to the mall." "An adult store sounds like a fine place to go," Nick grinned eagerly. The news reporter grabbed a new first aid kit to replace the one she had used on her nail, as did Ellis because he had been carrying a defib and the rules of the game don't allow you to carry both a de

As they emerged from the burning kitchen, they spied the body of their comrade; the one with the broken-ass legs. Less importantly, he was also very dead. Thankfully, the defibrillator was still right there with him. "Guys, I know CPR!" Rochelle boasted, immediately rushing to Ellis' corpse and passionately kissing him. "Girl!" Coach yelled. "No hanky-panky." Nick began to have second thoughts. Maybe I should've jumped down and died, then I would be getting all this action. But soon, Rochelle stopped. "It's not working." She whined. Nick stopped day-dreaming and picked up the chest-paddles. "Turn him over." "He's already flat on his ba

You know that one area on the 29th floor of the hotel where you can jump through glass and land right in front of the safe room and get defibrillated later, despite your broken-ass legs? Well, Ellis, being the retard of the group, and a complete fuckin' moron, grabbed a defib and vaulted over the balcony, exclaiming, "PARKOUR!" The gruesome sound of his tibia and fibias shattering into a thousand tiny pieces echoed throughout the hotel. "That fucker just bypassed 80% of the map!" Nick exclaimed with an indignant snort.  He nearly called a vote kick on the redneck. Working together, the three remaining Survivors managed to get to the elevato

The helicopter is the loudest thing in the entire game. This is the sound the Survivors heard as they awoke from their amnesia on the top of the roof; this of course being the amnesia that caused them to forget the existence of zombies. "Looks like there's been a change of plans." Nick said gravely. Rochelle's screams could not be heard over the sound of Coach eating his donuts. "Mmm." He muttered, spilling several crumbs on Ellis' shirt. "Hey man, that hit me!" The inbred, down-syndrome afflicted hill billy exclaimed. "Sorry, youngin'." Coach replied, shoving the rest of the donut into his cavernous mouth. Thankfully, they would meet an